i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
