Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Someone signed my nipple.
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