i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
