I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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