I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want nice things and good sex
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
