i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
