Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
