Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

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  (336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices. http://tfl.nu/qbzj
  Replies (5) Good night (1395) Bad night (540)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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  (404): Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage. http://tfl.nu/ouqc
  Replies (16) Good night (618) Bad night (3946)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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  (506): He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants. http://tfl.nu/uu5r
  Replies (16) Good night (5070) Bad night (961)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.

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  (321): Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class. http://tfl.nu/1es6
  Replies (7) Good night (3918) Bad night (752)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient

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  (830): we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient http://tfl.nu/vzth
  Replies (12) Good night (1193) Bad night (3573)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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  (574): There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party http://tfl.nu/2g1j
  Replies (5) Good night (2404) Bad night (652)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4532) Bad night (881)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.

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  (405): In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday. http://tfl.nu/wcjj
  Replies (6) Good night (543) Bad night (1429)
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  (909): View more from California

  You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?

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  (909): You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail? http://tfl.nu/0cec
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (568)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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  (406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3
  Replies (7) Good night (918) Bad night (457)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A BJ like that needs to be recommended.

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  (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended. http://tfl.nu/olb7
  Replies (11) Good night (1528) Bad night (476)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.

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  (832): He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him. http://tfl.nu/n4d8
  Replies (13) Good night (1324) Bad night (352)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.

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  (604): My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both. http://tfl.nu/t7s4
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (619)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.

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  (206): I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice. http://tfl.nu/3w4k
  Replies (5) Good night (312) Bad night (692)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?

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  (512): I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out? http://tfl.nu/fchk
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (406)

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