So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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