So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
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So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.