that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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