it was like eating out sand paper
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
