dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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