I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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