So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
