sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
