Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
