Man, jail baloney is awful.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
