dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
