I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
