you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
