i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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