Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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