Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
