What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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