apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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