I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
