no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
