is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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