i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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