I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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