Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
