I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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