If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
