Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
