just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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