No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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