fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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