I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
