Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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