well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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