Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize