that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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