U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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