I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My pussy is not your playground.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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