Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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