I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The air taste purple.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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