I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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