Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
