Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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