Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
