so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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