I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well you can't waste a boner
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
