i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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