Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
