Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So squirting runs in the family.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
