my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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