I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
