Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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