Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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