we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize
