so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
