She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
