Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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