so let's talk penis.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
