we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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