So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
