She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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