well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
