3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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